I have to admit the truth, no matter how much lesson I have learnt as time keeps slipping by, when talking to him, I got a feeling I’ve gone back to square one. But it’s okay, I don’t mind that, in contrast, I quite prefer that eye-opening moment.
He said to me that, if someone’s not with you when you struggle, he/ she doesn’t earn the place beside you when you succeed.
That sentence sure rings a clear bell to me. How many times did she say she would stand by me in case I broke down? Did she remember what she had promised? Hopes were planted, expectations were set up, but where was she in my life?
Where were you dear, and where are you?
It was me who put an end to everything, I know. I was always the one who let go of my hand first, maybe I expected too much, maybe I was too cold from the soul, I really didn’t know. But this time, I didn’t hear anything from your side, I’m too tired. Sorry for having not let you explain anything, I already made my own choice.
One more thing, I got a strong feeling that this relationship was about to do you no good. So, I’d better stop here before wasting any more of your time. And I have to adhere to my philosophy, let us just end before everything turns ugly, so that one day if we look back to the time we spent together, we don’t have to shake our heads real hard to get it off our mind. Let us just preserve our memories, and only rekindle them with our most gratitude.
Don’t mistaken it with the end, we don’t deserve that disastrous ending, do we? Think of it as a step backwards in our story, it helps me soothe my soul a great deal, I hope it will play down the fact a little.
How many friends left, the real ones, do you have? We don’t mention acquaintances, and we clearly draw a fine line between who we call ‘friend’ and ‘acquaintance’.
We answered that question at once, harmoniously: “Not many.” I don’t know whether this upsets him or not, especially when he is under the weather and in need of a wholehearted confidant. But what worries me the most is, since the day we our relationship entered a new level, I haven’t made any changes to modify myself. I saw myself did nothing to deserve that place in his life, and I’m so baffled if this pace will let him reconsider our stage. Yes, some silence makes you feel awkward, distant and sick of each other when conversing again, but there are still some silence which makes you both feel comfortable when you have a talk, he said to me. Fortunately we all agreed to have the latter silence.
Who says it’s easier when your relationship develops? That comes with more care, responsibility and effort to maintain and nurture it. But that’s not the thing you should care much about, the happiness lies in the fact that we have found each other in life, and succeeded in keeping walking together on our paths. That’s the beauty of it.